Chapter Sixteen

Jamie lay with his hands behind his head, staring at the darkened ceiling of his bedroom.

Everyone had long since retired for the night, but he found himself unable to sleep, haunted as he was by the kiss he and Madeline had shared earlier that day in the folly.

And by his imaginings of undressing her in that secluded spot, exposing inch after inch of silken skin, then exploring her body with all with his fingers, his lips, his tongue, his entire body…

But if he were to ever, ever give in to those urgings, it could have dire consequences.

Punching his pillow, he rolled over and closed his eyes, feigning sleep.

If he were to truly possess the lovely Lady Madeline, several things could happen: he could hurt her with his urgency and need; he could scare her, or push her into going to places she didn’t want to go.

Or, he could take her, and realize that despite his lust for her, she still couldn’t give him what he desperately wanted.

He’d bedded women since he was a young man, but it wasn’t until Amiens that he realized what had been missing from all those interludes. He, of course, had found pleasure in his couplings, but in Amiens, he found that true release, that true bliss that he had been searching for.

And under the most unacceptable circumstances.

Madeline had revealed her secret to him – her few experiences at lovemaking had been perfunctory, sparse in number, and frankly, without pleasure in the least.

If he were to reveal his secret, he would be unmanning himself.

And he wasn’t sure what was worse – having her know his secret.

Or having her act on it.

###

“You don’t seem very excited about the picnic today, poppet,” Rose said, taking a sip of tea and looking over at Madeline. “Are you quite all right?”

Maddy nodded. “I’m fine, just tired. I slept quite poorly last night.”

To say she slept poorly was a gross understatement; Maddy had been awake half the night, remembering every moment of her kiss with Jamie, every touch of his hands on her.

For the first time in her entire life, she had felt those stirring of passion in her belly, had felt her knees grow weak at his touch – something Henry had never given her.

And it she was honest with herself, she craved all those feelings – and much more.

She knew seeing Jamie again today would stir up all her emotions again, but she feared that they would return to that stilted, polite relationship they’d had only a few days before, rather than one of honesty and shared kisses.

“I slept like the dead,” Rose said easily, then straightening imperceptibly in her chair as Fitzwilliam strode in with a grin.

“Good morning, ladies,” he said easily, and they answered in kind. “Are we ready for a day of feasting in the out of doors?”

“Absolutely,” Rose said with a smile. “Are you?”

“I love a picnic, though honestly, most of my picnics in the past have involved only one lady and a very secluded spot,” Fitz said with a rakish grin.

“Fitz!” Maddy exclaimed with a grin. “It’s much too early to hear of your conquests.”

“In that case, shall we make for the carriages and be off? I promise to behave myself… at least for a while,” Fitz said with a smile, escorting the ladies from the room.

###

It was the perfect day for a picnic – warm sunshine and a light breeze that swayed the tall grasses surrounding the party. They had found a hill that afforded beautiful views of the valley below, and were all seated comfortably on well-worn quilts, several baskets laden with food and wine within arm’s reach. Everyone attending Jamie’s house party was in attendance, and there was a lot of chatter and laughing and general merriment.

The only thing not within reach, Maddy thought, was Jamie, who was seated as far away from her as possible, separated by the entire group of friends gathered together.

Oh, he had been polite when he wished them all good morning and led the party to the carriages, but had not spoken a word to Maddy since. She did think, though it might be her imagination, that he held her hand a beat too long as he helped her into the carriage, but a split second’s touch was hardly anything to base her emotions on.

Since then, nothing.

If she was honest, she was a bit embarrassed by her forwardness yesterday in the folly, not only in the way she had spoken to Jamie about his wishes, but also in her forward manner in wishing for more – though she was sure he had not heard her say that as they had departed.

And yet, she found herself also exhilarated and excited by what had transpired between them, and she definitely wished for more.

But if he wasn’t even able to look at her, what did that mean for them? Was it just a one time kiss, an experiment between friends?

Surely not.

She glanced over to where Jamie was sprawled on the ground, Lady Drake sitting as close to him as was proper in mixed company, and felt herself scowling a bit at their familiarity. A moment later, though, Jamie looked over at her, and their eyes locked.

And in that look, she knew those roiling emotions weren’t only her own.

She could see desire and need in his eyes, and when he gave her a small, secret smile, she felt her bones melt, and was surprised she didn’t burst into flame from the heat in his eyes. She glanced around to make sure no one else had caught the silent exchange between them, and then glanced back at him, a small smile on her lips.
Perhaps there was possibility between them after all.

“Lady Madeline,” he said, speaking over the heads of several attendees, “are you enjoying the picnic today?”
“Very much, my lord,” she said with a smile. “It’s just what I’ve wished for.” She echoed her sentiments from the day before, and his eyes widened imperceptibly. “I hope it will happen again, my lord.”

His lips quirked into a small smile, and she knew that he caught her meaning, realizing she was repeated what they had said to each other in secret yesterday. She only hoped that he would return the feelings in kind.

“As do I, Lady Madeline. I very much wish for it to happen again. Perhaps we will… have another picnic soon,” he said, his eyes still locked on hers, both of them oblivious to the chatter surrounding them both from the other picnickers.

“Yes, my lord,” she said smoothly. “Perhaps we will.”

As they both tore their gazes from each other, both were smiling softly.

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