Chapter Seventeen

“Lady Madeline.”

Maddy whirled around at the sound of Jamie’s voice – she had been lost in her own reverie as she walked slowly around the garden, trying to rid herself of energy that had been pent up all day. The sun was beginning to set, and everyone had returned to the house after the picnic, satiated and exhausted, but Maddy found herself needing to move, to be alone with her thoughts for a while.

But truth be told, she more than welcomed the company of Lord Carrington.

“My lord,” she said with a curtsy. “Did you enjoy the picnic today?”

“Very much, though I was disappointed we weren’t able to speak more,” Jamie said after a short bow, falling into step beside her. “You appeared to enjoy yourself, though.”

“I did, my lord,” Maddy said with a smile.

“Lady Madeline…” Jamie hesitated. “Do you ever think there will be a time when you will not call me ‘lord’?”
Maddy looked at him, surprised by the question. “Whatever do you mean?”

“I just… no matter.” Jamie looked confused. “It’s still just so hard to hear my friends refer to me as ‘my lord’. At times, I long to just be Jameson again.”

“It wouldn’t be proper to use your Christian name,” Maddy said softly.

“Ah, we’re back to being proper, are we?” Jamie asked, his eyes full of challenge.

“I assume so, yes,” Maddy said tartly. “I just assumed you were avoiding me after our…”

“Kiss?” Jamie filled in for her.

“Yes, my lord.”

“I would be lying to say I hadn’t thought much of that kiss since then, but I know it wouldn’t be… proper… to pursue it. Or you,” Jamie said, his voice low.

“Because I’m a widow, shunned by society?”

“Because of what might happen between us if I were to pursue you, my lady. It could be… dangerous for both of us.”

Maddy stopped in the path and looked at him, her eyes full of questions. “Dangerous?”

“Yes, my lady.”

“Why?” Maddy shot back.

“Because… it does not matter. I’d rather not say. I just think, out of respect for your brother and your standing in society…”

“I have no standing, my lord,” Maddy said hotly.

“You are a gentleman’s daughter, and no matter your past, you will always have standing in society. And I refuse to…”

“To what?” Maddy asked, becoming increasingly aggravated and confused.

Jamie shook his head, as though to rid himself of their awkward conversation. “I refuse to take you were I know you don’t wish to go.”

Maddy stared at him, more confused than ever. “”My lord, you are making no sense. I thought that we…”
“Leave it, Lady Madeline,” Jamie said, though it pained him to do so.

Maddy watched him for a long moment, and then took a deep breath. “My lord, why do you keep yourself so restrained around women? You were never one to step back from a pursuit. You were quite the rake before you left, by all accounts, but now that you have returned from France, you treat me, at least, as though I were a china doll, unable to stand up to a kiss or two. Or more. Are you afraid for me, or are you afraid of yourself?”

“I…” Jamie wasn’t able to answer, stunned by her astute observation of his character since the war. He knew that to love her would be to unman himself, to ask her to go somewhere he was sure she would not want to go.

“You are, aren’t you?” Madeline asked. “You are afraid of yourself.”

Jamie nodded, once, but said nothing.

“Well, I am not afraid, my lord. But by the same token, I’m not going to pin my hopes and emotions on a man who is unwilling to let me into his head, to open himself up to me. A relationship is based on absolute trust, and absolute willingness to share themselves, and clearly, my lord, you are in no position to do so.”

“And did you absolutely trust and share with your officer husband?” Jamie shot back, stung by her words.

“My marriage is no concern of yours,” Maddy shot back. “And it’s hardly fair to bring Henry into this, when he has nothing to do with it.”

“But based on your confession, you didn’t love each other, and so, how could you trust him?”

“At least Henry talked to me!” Maddy said, tears of frustration springing to her eyes. “You treat me with kid gloves, and yet, I could feel what was between us in the folly. What are you so afraid of?”

Jamie took a step forward, closing the distance between them. Maddy held her ground, though she was trembling at his nearness. Tenderly, he reached up and brushed back a lock of her hair, blown loose by the breeze. Tucking it behind her ear, he cupped her cheek briefly, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of what to say.

“No, my lord,” Maddy said, taking a step back, though it pained her to do so. “I will not be pulled in by you again. Until you can open up to me, I refuse to turn my heart over to you.”

And with that, she stormed away, wiping at her eyes angrily.

###

“Really, must she sit so close?” Rose hissed to Madeline, who was seated beside her on the chaise. They had both been watching Lady Drake inch closer and closer to Jamie on the couch on which they both sat across the room from Rose and Madeline. After dinner, everyone was gathered in the parlor, drinking and chatting about the picnic earlier that day, though Lady Drake seemed to be doing considering more chatting to Lord Carrington than he to her.

“As if he wasn’t aware of her interest in him, she has to make sure he is well aware of her intentions to snare him,” Maddy said in return. “She’s shameless. You had to admire her forthrightness, I suppose.”

“I don’t have to admire that. I just wondering how many more times she’s going to thrust her cleavage in his direction, making sure he takes note of it,” Rose shot back, and Maddy snorted a giggle. “Yes, dear, we all see that you have breasts.”

Maddy giggled again, though she was more than a little put out at Lady Drake’s forwardness, and at Jamie’s apparent appreciation of her… assets. Over the next few minutes, she watched Jamie engage Lady Drake more and more with talking and laughter, and felt her mood growing increasingly stormy.

Surely he wasn’t truly interested in her? Maddy thought to herself. After all his talk today in the garden, though, it was clear he was going to make no overtures to Maddy. Perhaps he had decided Lady Drake was a safer bet – and a smarter one for the future.

Maddy shuddered at the thought of Jamie taking a shine to Lady Drake, leaving Madeline out in the cold.

“She’s so brazen,” Rose said as they watched Lady Drake lay a hand on Jamie’s thigh, leaning in to whisper something in his ear flirtatiously. Something that made him smile broadly.

Maddy could only imagine what Lady Drake was saying, but she was sure she wouldn’t like it.

“God, I’m tired of this little show of hers,” Maddy snapped, making Rose sit back in surprise.

“Why, Maddy, you are positively green with envy!” Rose declared. “I thought you and Lord Carrington… well, I thought there was nothing there.”

“Not so,” Maddy said shortly. “At least, not on my end. But apparently, he has moved on to greener, more gentried pastures.”

“Oh god,” Rose murmured. “Surely the man has more taste than to be interested in such a snooty, cold fish.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” Maddy whispered back. “She may be exactly the woman he needs – someone to be at his beck and call, someone who doesn’t care about trust or emotion, simply on what there is to gain from a match between them.”

Rose’s jaw dropped at Maddy’s poisoned words, and was about to speak when the door to the parlor slammed open and a tall man strode through, trailed quickly by Jamie’s butler. “The Right Honorable Earl of Weststoke, Trevor Blakely,” he intoned, and the man smiled at the assembled party.

“Terribly sorry to be so late to the party, but I’m here now!” he said jovially, and he and Jamie bowed and shook hands with each other, both grinning widely.

“Blakely! About time you made it!” Jamie said with a grin. “We’d quite despaired of you making it to Rotherham at all!”

“I think things are about to get much more interesting,” Rose said with a wide smile. “Because that man looks as though he could liven things up considerably.”

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