Chapter Twenty-One

Maddy sat in the window seat of the parlor, half concealed by the heavy drapery around her, a book open in her lap, though she hadn’t turned a page in at least twenty minutes.

Instead, she was staring out into the garden, imagining again and again her kiss with Jamie in the folly, and his confession of why he felt ‘damaged’, and why he had kept his distance from her until yesterday.

The man obviously had trust issues, she thought, but also wasn’t sure what to make of his own sexual… proclivities.

But Maddy truly believed what she had told him yesterday – that there was no right or wrong when it came to sexual satisfaction. Though she had little personal experience, she would never judge someone for what ignited their passions. She believed everyone had a right to do what made them happy, within their means.
And right now, just being with Jamie would make her happy – just having him near her, or having him hold her, sexual relations aside.

Though, honestly, a bit of sexual relations wouldn’t go awry, she thought wickedly.

She jumped as she heard the door creak open, hoping it would be Jamie seeking her out, but instead, Rose and Fitz came into the room and sat down near the fireplace, Fitz lounging comfortably and Rose sitting stiffly beside him.

Maddy had detected tension emanating from Rose every time Fitz was in earshot, and had no idea what her idiot brother had done to offend her best friend, but Rose was obviously uncomfortable around him for the first time in her life, which troubled Maddy greatly. She had always treasured the fact that Fitz had taken Rose in so easily, and that they were all so close with each other.

She could hear Fitz and Rose murmuring together, talking about nothing of consequence, and Maddy decided to maintain her privacy a while longer and not reveal herself to either of them, instead preferring her solitary ruminations for the time being.

A lengthy silence caught Maddy’s ear after the constant murmur had gone on for several minutes, and she peeked around the curtain again, seeing Fitz bent over, building a fire in the fireplace, and Rose watching him…

Hungrily?

If Maddy didn’t know better, she would swear that Rose was staring directly at her brother’s posterior.
And quite enjoying the view, if the flush in her cheeks was any indication.

Maddy watched, rapt, as Fitz sat back down, and Rose inched closer and closer as they talked, until their knees nearly touched.

Oh my god, Maddy thought with a silent laugh. What a fool I’ve been – Rose is in love with Fitz!

All the teasing, all the easy conversations and laughter had vanished in the last few months, and Maddy suddenly realized it wasn’t because of Fitz, but because of Rose’s feelings for him.

Quite the surprise, Maddy thought with a smirk. And that minx of a best friend never said a word!

Rose was in love with Fitz, she thought to herself. Well, I never.

With a small sigh, she settled the curtain again to give the almost-couple a bit of privacy, while hoping that Fitz wouldn’t be too much of a dunderhead to notice Rose’s growing affection for him.  Maddy vowed to talk to Rose at her first opportunity about her feelings, and to see if she could… facilitate things in any way between them.

She wished someone could facilitate her increasingly complicated relationship with Jamie, but she sensed no help forthcoming, and instead turned back to the words on the page, not absorbing a single one.

###

Jamie’s head lolled back against the rim of the tub, the warm water soaking awake the aches in his muscles. He’d spent the morning chopping wood near the stables, desperately needing physical labor to take his mind off of Lady Madeline Winchester, and to feel as though something he were doing was useful for the estate.
Now, all he had to show for it were a few new calluses and a mind that simply wouldn’t shut down long enough to let him relax.

At the core of it, he was embarrassed.

He’d admitted his secret to Maddy, and she’d taken it in stride, but he was still humiliated at the core of it.
They had shared a soul-searing kiss, but even that had not quenched his thirst for her, and though he craved – needed – more, he knew he was treading dangerous ground with Maddy.

Sinking lower into the water, he ruminated on the evening ahead – another dinner, a round of dancing at the insistence of Lord Rutherford, and another night without finding himself in Madeline Winchester’s bed.

Damn it.

###

It took every ounce of reserve Madeline had that evening to appear unruffled, unaware of Jamie’s secret, and unconcerned about her deeply growing attraction to him.

Her eyes followed him as he strode to the stables before dinner.

Her heart raced when their fingers brushed at introductions at the dinner table.

Her nipples tautened when he gazed at her in the firelight, despite the presence of a dozen other people in the room as they retired from the meal.

And yet, they’d had little opportunity for private conversation between just the two of them, and even less opportunity to be less than five feet away from each other.

Maddening, totally maddening.

Whether it was right or wrong, she knew she wanted him, and was willing to do anything to have him. Her reputation as a marriageable woman was already in question, so why not give in to temptation, to lust? She was no longer a demure virgin, and eventually she would be shuffled off into some loveless marriage with a man no doubt twice her age, so why not seize the opportunity now to experience lovemaking as it was intended?

Even if it was for just one night.

In the preceding hours, Madeline had come to this conclusion as she sat longer and longer in the window seat, but as yet had had little success in devising a way for her and Jamie to act on these lusty impulses – there always seemed to be people around, servants bustling by, or business to be take care of.

What did it take to have some privacy?

Madeline gazed at the gowns strewn across her bed – tonight Jamie was hosting a country dance, inviting not only his guests but friends from across the countryside, insuring, yet again, a house full of people and little chance for a secret interlude. But, if they were to have a dance or two together, at least it would bring them physically closer, since yesterday afternoon’s closeness in the folly.

Madeline’s knees shook as she remembered the press of his body against hers, the way his mouth possessed hers, the throbbing of his manhood matching the throbbing in her own belly.

If a polite dance was all she could expect tonight, it was going to be a very long night.

###

“Lady Winchester, may I join you?” Lord Blakely asked, motioning to the seat beside Madeline, a drink in his hand.

She smiled and gestured for him to sit. “Lord Blakely,” she said happily. “We’ve not shared a word today, you and I.”

“I know, my lady – the indignity of it! I would have much rather spent the day talking with you than touring the estate on horseback with some of the men in the party. I had no idea Rotherham was so large – I believe I’ll be walking bow legged for a week after that ride.”

Maddy giggled at the image, and jumped slightly as the band Jamie had got in for the night began to tune their instruments, readying for the night of music and dancing that lay ahead. “Do you enjoy dancing, my lord?”

“I confess that I do, and with so many pretty partners to choose from, I imagine I will enjoy this one indeed,” Blakely said easily. “Perhaps you would favor me with a dance when the band begins?”

“I’d like that, my lord,” Maddy said happily. For the next twenty minutes, the two of them sat and spoke easily with each other, covering topics from politics to the art of raising chickens. She found Blakely an easygoing, attentive conversationalist, full of opinions on everything – a stimulating change from most of the men she was acquainted with. Blakely also had an easy smile and a ready laugh, and after all the sullen looks of Lord Carrington over the last few days and weeks, she found that refreshing indeed.

“Do you enjoy a gavotte, my lady?” Blakely asked. “Shall we take to the floor?”

And with an answering smile, Maddy took his proffered hand and let herself be led to the floor, where, pink cheeked and smiling, she spent the next half an hour as Lord Blakely’s partner.

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